This is Why I Love Reading Murakami’s Books

I know I’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”
― Haruki MurakamiKafka on the Shore

Hi you. It’s been years and I haven’t seen you in ages, but I still feel the pain. It gets less significant but it’s still there.

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki MurakamiSouth of the Border, West of the Sun

And I’m not the only one wondering why.

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki MurakamiSputnik Sweetheart

Revisiting love feels like going inside a locked room of possibilities. Nobody knows whether it’s good or bad.

“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time.”
― Haruki Murakami

They are always too far-off, but at times they bloom into beautiful flowers that I can’t resist.

“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star.
It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.”
― Haruki MurakamiSouth of the Border, West of the Sun

Whenever I look at that one particular person I always feel like I’m going to be angry, or my stomach is punched by invisible hands. But the little inner voice sounds like I still love. And I never have recovered since then.

“But I didn’t understand then. That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover. That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair.”
― Haruki Murakami

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.”
― Haruki Murakami

It’s not like I don’t try to find another person. It’s just a mismatch expectation.

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.”
― Haruki MurakamiKafka on the Shore

“But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o’clock in the morning.”
― Haruki MurakamiThe Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

But just once, I want to know how it feels to be loved. A real love that can never let go of me.

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. ”
― Haruki MurakamiNorwegian Wood


Author: mfaradina

An Indonesian. A reliable realist outside yet a romantic dreamer at heart.

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