Sometimes all it takes is only one single tear. To know that you’re fragile, vulnerable, and can sometimes be stressed out. When life gives you too much pressure that you can’t hold. When you don’t know what to do, when you just want to fall down on your knees.

But what if you can’t even cry anymore? Your body biologically refuses to do a simple thing that has saved you in the past. Your inner self withers and basically ignores what your mind tells you. Your heart wants to explode and you wish to be able not to feel anymore.

When kneeling down and praying only go as far as your lips stop muttering. When there’s practically no one to talk to.

For now I wish that I could cry. That I don’t have to hold these tears back and pretend to be strong. Because I am not strong. I am not independent. I am not a superwoman. I am not what everyone sees me on the outside.

Because I’m only being pushed away by reality, whether I like it or not. At some times, I wish that life is not this cruel in giving her lessons. At some points in my life, at this point, I don’t even know what I want anymore. Only to feel this void, this crack in hollow bones.

Even heroes have the right to bleed.

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Author: mfaradina

An Indonesian. A reliable realist outside yet a romantic dreamer at heart.

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