because they’ll come true.
When I entered ITB 4 years ago, I didn’t have any passport. I was asked why, and I said I wouldn’t have any money to go abroad. I didn’t come from a wealthy family. I hadn’t even been on a plane for once in my life at that time. But I dreamed of these two things:
1. To visit 5 countries during my university years. (Why 5? Because I was born on 5th day of the month, haha)
2. To step my feet in New York, Paris, and Tokyo.
In the end of my university years, I realize that I’ve reached the 1st dream. I’ve gone to USA, Thailand, Vietnam, Japan, and (will soon be, hopefully) Netherlands.
all free of charge.
As with #2, I failed to reach Paris in the last selection step. It was bitter, especially because the whole selection process was full of struggle for me. But then again, I’ve been to New York, and it’s something to be very thankful for. Who knows that one day in July, after I was so devastated and blamed God for everything, I got a phone call informing that I’d be sent to Japan, all expenses paid.
I went to Tokyo at the very last day. In front of Senso-ji Temple, Asakusa -one of Tokyo’s landmarks- , I thanked Allah for fulfilling this dream of mine that I thought might as well be given up.
In August, it was announced that I’d been given a prize to go to Netherlands, 3 months, and I could choose when I’d want to go and for what purpose. I’ll talk to the representative this Thursday, hope everything’s gonna go smoothly.
And I once thought, going to Netherlands would be Allah’s way of sending me to Paris, one of the cities I dreamed of visiting. He made me failed in that selection, but He had already prepared another way for me to reach my dream.
There’s a tremendous amount of gratefulness, and guilt, and shame, that’s wrapping me around now. The guilt that I blamed Allah for a lot of unsuccessful things in my life. The shame that I didn’t believe in the power of dreams and His promise that He will always grant His believers’ will, in His own way that is much, much better than human being’s. The gratefulness that comes with this fortune. Alhamdulillah.
So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?
I still have life to pursue, a life which I hope and believe is an even better one. The uncertainty that clouds my happiness, and the feeling of “haven’t landed somewhere safe”. Crossing these two dreams of my freshman year, I’ll continue by dreaming some more, and believing that they will come true.
By Allah’s grace and by Allah’s will. Insha Allah.