A Letter From Your Last Day As A 21 Years Old

Hi Marsha.

This is your last day as a 21 years old girl (or woman, perhaps?). You’re tired after coming back from work, you’re hoping that this annoying flu will not escalate into un-treat-able fever, and you’re wondering why you’re here, alone, typing this letter to pour some of your emotions. And by the way, you’re not happy.

You’re not.

Your 21st year of life was a mixture of everything: bittersweet and strange, sarcastic and nice, rise and fall, victory and failure. The variations were totally random, and you couldn’t help but giving yourself away to the Hands of Fate. You developed a belief that Allah truly knows what’s best for you.

At some points, you were lost.

Even now.

You keep on asking why. Why things that don’t matter are the ones that you get. Not easily, but almost effortlessly. You wonder if those things are actually the right ones. But you still want to explore. You still want to know where you truly belong.

I’m going to be honest with you – you’ve put yourself in a difficult situation. You thought things were going smoothly. That in life, you can always get what you want. Always get what you want. But it didn’t go that way. It still doesn’t. And can never be. That’s the first lesson that you have to remember in your 22nd year, Marsha. Life is not meant to be a one-way street, where everything you want is provided for you. No. Sometimes you have to swallow the fact that you’re not going to be an eternal lighthouse. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you may not always be on top. Sometimes, you’re thrown out of throne, no matter how much you’ve got used to being Queen. Accept that.

See yourself now.

You’re scared. Scared of what life may bring to you in the next few years. You’ve always hated uncertainty. Uncertainty makes you insecure. And insecurities can kill you.

You know what?

I hate seeing what you’re becoming.

It’s time for you to start figuring out what you really want. For 21 years…you’ve been listening to the voices that do you no good. Well maybe they were good, but now you’ve stepped into a world where they don’t have any knowledge about. You’re now the captain. Take the navigation and start deciding. Now you’re trapped in a situation where you don’t know how to find the escape door. You badly want to go out, but you can’t. You don’t want these things to ever happen again. That’s the 2nd lesson: you have to know what you want. Do anything to figure that out. Take into account what you think matters to you, no matter how silly. Because if you don’t, you’ll always be like this. The clueless person who make wrong choices.

I noticed that you’ve grown too afraid of taking risks, and see where it leads?

It leads you nowhere.

I don’t think I have to explain and elaborate it more. You know you could avoid it by having a leap of faith, believe that you’re going to thrive, and be brave to say NO. Be brave to say no to the things you know you don’t want. If you can’t figure out what you want, at least eliminate the things you don’t want. Then you can see a clearer picture, a clearer path, a clearer direction. That’s the 3rd lesson.

Lastly, I want you to stop overthinking everything.

You know, you can’t always control what’s going to happen. If you could just stop thinking too much, just for a little time, I’m sure you’ll be a lot happier than now. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Let it go.

So that’s it.

Happy 22nd birthday, Marsha.

You’ll be fine, as always. I know you will. Ssshhhh 🙂