These days, I got so fed up with these noises in my daily life:
Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Guys are intimidated by you. (or some variations of you’re too smart/too accomplished/too irritating/too outspoken/too blah blah blah)
You need to get married really, really soon.
You’re going to have a tough time raising kids if you’re not pregnant by the time you’re 24/25/26.
You’re too picky. Way too picky. You have an unattainable standard.
Don’t be a workaholic/Don’t be career woman. Women are meant to settle down.
[Somebody’s mom] has a son and he’s ready to get married, let me introduce you…
[A random, out of nowhere someone] is single, [matchmaking begins]
You know what? I’m sick of this. It makes me feel like I’m a total failure just because I have no boyfriend, no solid plan of getting married in the near future, have no idea or time or money to invest in meeting someone, and basically not adhering to society’s standard.
I’m sick of failed relationships because I’ve had my fair share of broken hearts and I’m traumatized by that. I’m sorry, but that happens. Love is basically an unwanted byproduct. I know I have to settle down someday and I have to accept anyone who comes into my life when it has reached its own “cut-off”, but not right now, no?
I mean, come on, people. I’m 24. It’s not like I have my life stops here — my life has just begun. And I just want to live it in my own pace, peacefully.
Alas, society’s expectations always affect me profoundly.
But now, it’s time to take charge. It’s time to take into account the things that I can control. After all, I can do so much and let go of the rest. Love is uncontrollable, because it’s never logical. Somebody just pops out from somewhere, and I seriously cannot plan when and how and with whom I do fall in love with. So after a series of depressing deliberations, I finally set my mind, body, and soul into this one thing:
My objective is to make 2016 – 2018 my new 2011 – 2013.
The timing and circumstance is just strikingly similar: international atmosphere, a painful recovery from a broken heart, single as fuck, pumped up with ambitions, and generally happy and content with myself. The last time I did this, I had one of my best revenges. Heartbreaks have always been my start of something amazing.
Because I want to show the people who hurt me that they were wrong… that I wasn’t just a waste of space.
I know I will always have this soft side where I know I can never be enough by being with myself, but at least I’ll have it right:
Aren’t you supposed to be with the best person when you have transformed into the best version of yourself?