There is a wisdom that uncertainty accentuates. In between diverging paths and rough predictions, there is a profound desire to let things flow in their own ways, in their own pace.
There is an element of surprise that someone like me normally dislikes, but is heading towards.
There’s this voice that keeps on pushing me to go far:
Take risk. Even if you fail, it’s time to make mistakes… while you can. Hey, you’re still young enough to make mistakes.
I’m afraid of the possibility of failing. I’m afraid of not being able to get back up and face whatever degree of harshness that reality may offer if the plan does not go well.
But as I slowly pull myself together, e-mails sprouting in my Gmail inbox while giving me a millivolt jolt of excitement, and as I signed the coming letters, I looked back through all these 1-year struggles while hating my current job and I know that I am going to take this risk.
I am.
For the first time in my life, I’m giving myself away to uncertainty. Every strategic planner cells in my mind refuses to vote for this decision, but I won’t let this slip away.
I hope I can do my best. Let the fiery race begin. Bismillah.
her soliloquy 