#gagalmoveon

Kadang memang kalau kita sudah nyaman pada satu situasi, keenganan untuk berubah itu sangat tinggi. Tapi perubahan itu niscaya, sehingga adaptasi dan sigap terhadap perubahan juga menjadi kebutuhan, termasuk perubahan hati. Butuh adjustment. Kalau cinta itu ga sah dan berkah, buat apa dipertahankan.

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[This post will be written in Bahasa]

Entah kenapa gue merasa kultwit @udayusuf malem ini perlu untuk disebarluaskan, soalnya banyak yang mengalami (termasuk gue, ehem). Ya itung-itung membuat diri sendiri jadi orang yang lebih positif.

By the way, akun yang bikin kultwit ini dulunya Presiden KM ITB, Planologi 2005 ya kalo ga salah. Boleh difollow brosis sekalian, cukup inspiratif dan bikin semangat aja gitu, gak heran followersnya nyampe 8000 lebih.

Berikut kultwit #gagalmoveon yang gak cuma buat orang putus pacaran, tapi juga yang putus cinta dalam bentuk apapun. Misalnya digantungin sama orang yang ngasih harapan sesaat. Wets haha ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1. @udayusuf : Sahabat semua, masih bangun kan ? gimana nih malam minggunya ? yg jomblo sabar ya. Insya Allah nanti dtg lah jodohnya
  2. percayalah jodoh gak akan kemana. kamu mau pasangan secantik song hye gyo juga akan di mudahkan bila niatnya bener. banyak doa aja ๐Ÿ™‚
  3. usaha gimana ? yah selain doa , usaha juga perlu donk. tingkatin kapasitas diri. buat diri kamu layak untuknya
  4. yah kalau mau pasanganya tipe song hye gyo, ya buat dirimu “tampan” krn karisma mu. layak secara finansial. dll ๐Ÿ™‚ hehe
  5. kultwit sambil minum teh pickwick, ditemani angin sepoi-sepoi sambil melihat ke sungai yg jernih itu sesuatu banget ya , oke lanjut ya
  6. kalau ga tau siapa song hye gyo berarti kamu jarang nonton dorama korea haha
  7. sahabat, bbrp waktu ini ada bbrp orang yg konsultasi ke saya. entah kenapa orang konsultasi ke saya masalah cinta mulu hehe
  8. padahal lebih pengen jd konsultan perencanaan atau politik hehe. oke lanjut ya. jd masalah yg sering saya temui adalah #gagalmoveon
  9. sulit rasanya utk pindah dr situasi yg sudah sangat nyaman. nyaman sama pacarnya. nyaman jd jomblo. nyaman jd playboy/girl
  10. kadang memang kalau kita sudah nyaman pd satu situasi. keenganan utk berubah itu sangat tinggi. tapi perubahan itu niscaya
  11. sehingga adaptasi dan sigap thd perubahan juga menjadi kebutuhan. termasuk perubahan hati. butuh adjustment
  12. kalau cinta itu ga sah dan berkah. buat apa di pertahankan. mendingan jd mantan drpd jd biang dosa. hehe.
  13. coba deh lihat keadaan dirimu. apakah lbh baik dgn dirinya ? atau lebih baik sendiri dulu dan kelak cari yg lebih baik dan serius
  14. dan kalau udah jadi mantan. jangan di inget2 lagi. iseng2 buka socmednya. dll. itu namanya #gagalmoveon . yah mulai nol aja. bersihkan hati
  15. mas gw mesti kultwit #gagalmoveon sih hehe
  16. orang kenapa sih ributin mantannya. emang kurang cowo atau cewe ya di dunia ini. ckckck. ayolah, jangan #gagalmoveon
  17. kalau anak muda di Indonesia tipe nya #gagalmoveon , dan tiap hari menye menye galau. kapan negeri ini akan tersenyum. <– nah ini nih menohok!
  18. gini deh. itu udah jadi mantan. udah BUKAN PUNYA LO. pas pacaran pun juga gak sah. jangan sok-sokan memiliki deh. #gagalmoveon
  19. emang situ udah investasi apa ke si doi ? traktir makan ?ajak nonton ?bensin ? katanya cinta ? cinta mah gak mengharap imbalan. #gagalmoveon
  20. gini deh bro. tuh cewe udah gak suka sama lo. trus ngapain lo nangisin dia. katanya keren. masa gitu aja lemah! #gagalmoveon
  21. gini deh sist, itu cowo udah campaki kamu. masa masih mengharap belas kasihan juga. udah lupain aja. cari cowo yg lbh sholeh. #gagalmoveon
  22. edan,. kok gw jd bahas #gagalmoveon gini . ada apa gerangan dengan diri gw hehe
  23. kamu jomblo ? bersyukurlah. krn kamu ga perlu alami penyakit #gagalmoveon , itu menyita waktu dan perasaan. salah2 bisa bunuh diri
  24. nih saya tanya deh yg lagi ber #gagalmoveon ? apa untungnya mantengin dan nangisin mantan ? gak akan balik deh percayalah
  25. mending lo, benahin diri. bangun visi hidup. kerja keras. Insya Allah, pada waktunya pasangan terbaikmu akan hadir. #gagalmoveon
  26. daripada tiap malam lo dengerin lagu mantan terindah sambil meringis & sambil bershower.mending lupain aja deh.mulai dari nol. #gagalmoveon
  27. semua akan indah pada waktunya #gagalmoveon
  28. coba aja cari kesibukan. 2-3 hari juga lupa. atau lihat aja tuh drama korea.banyak artis cantik. lupa tuh sama mantan seketika. #gagalmoveon
  29. tapi kalau boleh saran sih. mending gelar tuh sajadah. sholat. dan mohon sama Allah. minta ampun dan minta nikmat. #gagalmoveon
  30. solusi terbaik dr #gagalmoveon adalah bergerak ke pangkuan Allah. kemana lagi sih lo mau nangis2? kan pundak si doi udah ga ada
  31. pundak dan pangkuan Allah selalu ada buat kita semua. tak peduli betapa sibuk dan sering lupanya kita dengan Allah. #gagalmoveon <– tak peduli betapa sibuk dan sering lupanya kita dengan Allah. Catet.
  32. percayalah kawan, apalagi buat kamu yg diputusin. udah deh dia udah eneg sama kamu. gak perlulah termehek2. #gagalmoveon
  33. Allah lah sang pemilik cinta. kenapa kamu harus takut kehilangan cinta ketika kamu bisa selalu dekat dengan Allah ? #gagalmoveon
  34. coba sekarang ambil nafas dalam-dalam.ambil foto si doi yg masih tersisa. dan sobek segera lalu kamu bakar dan buang ke selokan #gagalmoveon
  35. lalu buka komputer kamu. buka facebooknya lalu unfriend, block kalau perlu. buka twitternya lalu block. lupakan dia dulu #gagalmoveon
  36. bayangan diri dia bisa jadi menghantui kamu untuk beberapa saat. muncul di mimpi. semua orang tampak spt dia. #gagalmoveon
  37. tapi kamu harus gerak. jangan terjerembab dalam kenistaan #gagalmoveon
  38. ๐Ÿ™‚ selamat mencoba
  39. edan satu tweet di RT 40 orang. ini yg RT pada #gagalmoveon semua ya ? hehe

Waking Up Before September Ends

After the torturing sixth semester and the barren life in Cilegon, seventh semester (even with its 22 credits that I take voluntarily) comes off as enjoyable. I’ve waken up even before September ends.


Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last

Green Day – Wake Me Up When September Ends

This week I’ve had a fair share of good times. Seventh semester has gone a bit jumpy and busy but I can safely say that I’m enjoying every minute of it. This, after all, is my last year as a college student, and I know perfectly well that I’m gonna miss my campus life badly. BADLY. Gotta make the best out of it.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are the only three days full of classes. On Thursday and Friday I only have 2 hours each day. Isn’t it a yay-ness? After the torturing sixth semester and the barren life in Cilegon, seventh semester (even with its 22 credits that I take voluntarily) comes off as enjoyable. I’ve waken up even before September ends. Here are the few things that kept me occupied in these last days of September:

1. Research

Unlike other majors, Chemical Engineering students of ITB have 4 things to do to finish their undergraduate study: 1. Internship; 2. Research/Final Project (others usually call this skripsi or TA); 3. Plant Design, which, BTW, is super crazy and energy draining; 4. Comprehensive Exam. I’ve started the research (formulation of concept) since last semester. This week, my research has found some glittering lights, thank Allah SWT. At the beginning of this week I was freaked out because my main substrate which is breadfruitย (or Sukun, in Bahasa) was nowhere to be found. Three traditional markets and none of it was sold. I panicked but eventually my grandma managed to find the breadfruit tree in the Al-Burhan Mosque’s garden. Maybe this is the sign that I should be more religious, hmm. The Mosque saves my research!! Because if I couldn’t find breadfruit then I had to change the substrate, meaning: I had to do fucking lots of literature reading again. BLAH.

Hello breadfruit, please be good to me.

My research title is Feasibility Study of Breadfruit (Artocarpus altilis) as a Novel Substrate for Production of Monascus purpureus Pigment Using Solid-State Fermentation. Pretty cool, eh? Now me and my partner have grown the mold using Potato Dextrose Agar (PDA). It has now grown well, giving red color to the agar. Soon it’s going to be inoculated to the sterilized breadfruit.

Meet my Monascus

My lecturer (the Yes-No old man, hehe) has been amazingly quite cooperative for his standard. I mean, he’s usually quite difficult to understand. Uh, he’s very smart senior lecturer, after all… Thing is, the path for my research is now finally clear, and I can’t wait for the variation of nitrogen source as we’re gonna do a bit fun by introducing MSG aka micin aka Ajinomoto and friends hahahaha! Let’s see if MSG can actually be a good nutrient for this mold. =)

We’re gonna start the whole research next week, so please pray for me and my partner! ๐Ÿ™‚

2. Private Lessons

So my intelligent friend does good deeds. We’re now in a mutual symbiosis with each other. Because I don’t take Kapsel PP class, he voluntarily gives me a once-a-week lesson to understand HYSYS (an important process simulation software for ChE). In exchange for that, I give him also once-a-week free English conversation class. It’s fun teaching others, trust me! The private lessons have gone quite well and we even gave each other homework, just like real classes.

3. My First Music Gig

Yes I’m a young girl living in Bandung for 20 years and I haven’t even watched any music gig, at all. Call me lame. I have a strong determination to make my last college year memorable, and that also includes enjoying my hometown to the fullest before I finally leave. So when Archie texted me to watch this concert with some other StudentsxCEOs peeps, I instantly agreed. It was Salamander Big Band concert (repertoire by Peter Helbolzheimer) held in Bumi Sangkuriang. I didn’t even know who this Big Band was. I’m not really into music so maybe it’s just me being so out of date, but turns out that the concert was good. Jazzy tunes and superb performance to spark up a lonely Wednesday night. I especially liked the composition “Heartland” (if I remember it correctly) and I couldn’t help but wishing to watch this concert with someone special. Oh here it goes again, my galauness. (-___-)

Salamander Big Band Concert @Bumi Sangkuriang

4. GMUNC Meeting and HNMUN Training

Yes believe it or not, GMUNC meeting and HNMUN training are two of those things I wait for. It’s like going back to the safe ledge. I can totally picture one year ago: me being the trainer and those innocent faces fascinated by the photos of USA that I showed; how they looked the first time they were formed (and ‘teased’, badly :P) at The Kiosk Ciwalk; the 4.30pm-1am debate to choose the best delegates. For me, being able to watch HNMUN 2012 people “grow” and enjoy the whole journey as good as my batch did is a success of its own. They are like…I don’t know, more than trainees to me. Maybe the fact that their togetherness resembles much of my batch’s sense of family. Maybe the fact that I miss my HNMUN 2011 delegates too much but can’t gather around again because they’re pursuing their real lives out there. HNMUN delegates are those people that I love wholeheartedly. I haven’t fully waken up from Limbo, and HNMUN 2012 people bring me closer to those memories that I treasure.

Can we ever be this complete again?

That’s why it saddens me when it seems that they don’t really care about the trainings after the selection ends. I just want to assure that HNMUN 2013 people are going to be okay,ย as okay as 2011 and 2012. When I was selected to be the trainer of HNMUN 2012, I didn’t see that responsibility as a burden. I had this determination to make them better delegates than what my batch have been, to stress thatย I’ve done mistakes, now it’s your job not to repeat it, and I’m gonna teach you how. When they left for USA, it felt like releasing kids to the wildlife. I kept thinking whether or not they were safe, whether or not they were nervous, bored, exhausted, or performed well in the conference. I tracked their journey through Twitter and imagined me being there. Did they eat Osaka Express, or were they taken to fancy restaurants with some Latino girls. Maybe it’s kind of illogical, but I really wished them the best. I did. Is it too demanding if I ask them to have that sense of responsibility with the new delegates that they have selected?

5. A Wedding-slash-Festive Night Market

Okay so I’ve spent two Saturday nights in one month to attend weddings. Told ya I’m single and ready to mingle (errr…).ย  This time it’s one of mom’s colleagues so I didn’t meet any of my friend. It’s a garden party held somewhere North. Great view of course, but I just feel that it’s really not the type of wedding I want to have in the future. Anyway, this was what I wore to the wedding.

I honestly think that I look a lot like mom

Now, the wedding. It was one of the most peculiar weddings I’ve ever attended. I don’t know who was responsible for the seating, but the bride and the groom sat separately with their parents instead of doing that oneย line on stage. And it was the first time for me to see Padang food being served as the buffet. So fancy, but then again I didn’t see any rendang or ayam pop, which was a loss. The only protein served was pieces of meat seasoned with green chili. Hmm. The food stalls were also fancy. Instead of those usual caterer things (Zuppa-zuppa, siomay, Mongolian lamb, you name it), they hire tenants like Sushi xxx, Turkey something, Pasta something, Roti Jala, etc. Nevertheless, I’ll definitely use catering service for my wedding. Why? Well, they maybe are great restaurants, but they can’t serve many people at once especially when the guests keep on coming. They just don’t get used to the pace, I daresay. No wonder the slow service caused many unnecessary queues, and the quickly out-of-stock stalls gave a slight negative impression.

Yes, I trust you, catering service

Overall, for me the wedding felt more like a festive Night Market with smoking guests. Great idea for youngsters (there were even live dance performance: line dance, etc. on stage! Wow), but not-so-great for older people. I overheard some old men and women complaining. Personally I’d prefer a grande, glamorous wedding held in a proper hall with excessive amount of food so as to keep the guests being full.

One thing tho, they gave tree seedlings as souvenirs! I’d bet both the bride and the groom are happy environmentalists. Salute!

6. Projects!

Projects and organizational activities are those things I missed reaaallyyy baaddd during my internship days in Cilegon. Going back as “anak kampus” is as close as being alive.

I’m now the Head of Public Relations and Licensing aka PR Manager for Regional Future Energy Challenge 2013, the most anticipated Chemical Engineering competition in Indonesia for 12 consecutive years. Now we’d like to expand the scope of participation to South East Asia/regional level. As the PR Manager, it’s my responsibility to contact prospective overseas participants and ensure the involvement of overseas people in the event. Well basically that’s that lah ya, hahaha. Oh, in November I’ll also go to Bali with Monce and Hugi to promote the event and gain prospective speakers/juries in 19th Regional Symposium on Chemical Engineering. Wish us luck!

Help me to promote this event yaa, esp. for ChE students anywhere. Just hop in to http://rfec-itb.com. It’s gonna be awesome! ๐Ÿ˜‰

RFEC 2013 Website

Besides RFEC, I’m currently involved in StudentsxCEOs Summit as Marketing Team. It’s the first national student-runย business conference in Indonesia! Proudly organized by StudentsxCEOs. Woot woot. Go follow our twitter for more info! ๐Ÿ™‚

Aaannd I’ve passed the first stage selection of NLA 2012. Really hope I can eventually be one of the selected participants! Another thing in my list is applying for a 3-month engineering project about marine current turbine. I knoww right it’s not directly related to ChE, but I just feel the need to sharpen my engineering skills before I have to work out there. I’m also keen on joining business plan competition or any other business-related thing, but I haven’t done that one yet. This may seem like a lot of stuffs, but trust me, I’m loving every minute of these activities!

7. Still Single As Ever

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up.ย If a guy punches you he likes you.ย Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.ย Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.

But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.

How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. ”

Taken from the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”

This is all I can say: I’ll never give up hope. ๐Ÿ™‚

Wow it’s late at night and I’m still wide awake. Gotta go back to what I have to work on. Toodles! Have a great end of September. Wake up, everyone! ๐Ÿ™‚

How I See Myself These Past Few Days

I see myself as, again, a failed lover. A love beggar with a sense of indescribable pride. I see myself as an increasingly alarmed twentysomething. I begin to love working. Keeping myself busy is the only way to be sane. And I’m so into 8tracks. Oh and by the way, I kinda miss your goofy text messages, but whatever. If you really like me, you’ll fight for me. That’s just what I believe.

[All sentences are intentionally written in present tense. You know why?]

I see myself as, again, a failed lover. A love beggar with a sense of indescribable pride. I watch my security system breaks apart and install them again within two or three weeks. I shake my head at this most quick-fix, strangest tunes in between loving, liking, and hating. Never had I experienced, let again recovered, from this kind of milivolt sting. It’s like I’ve been prepared for all the predictable shortcomings. I’m absolutely single and ready to mingle.

I see myself as an increasingly alarmed twentysomething. I can totally relate myself to the articles in Thought Catalog. I constantly wander off in midnight monologue, trying to figure out where my life should be directed.

I begin to love working. Keeping myself busy is the only way to be sane. I pathetically love the heavy loads and everyday meetings and the long stare at my laptop screen. I still miss Aila, but my Pegasus works very well with its polished silver look, crystal clear sound (hello Bang & Olufsen ICEpower!), and power saving wonders. Anyone can give me projects now. I need projects, presentations, trainings, meetings….yes, give it all to me! I know I’ve become a helpless workaholic.

And I’m so into 8tracks. Handcrafted online radio. Perfect. It’s this time of the month when my mouth won’t stop munching and my mood won’t stop swinging.

Oh and by the way, I kinda miss your goofy text messages, but whatever. If you really like me, you’ll fight for me. That’s just what I believe. But if you don’t, that’s very well okay. I’ve got used to moving on anyway, we can still be great friends and nothing will ever change. I promise.

My ChemEng Ladies :)

Sebagai calon insinyur teknik kimia yang sedang belajar di salah satu perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia, bukan gak mungkin kalo gue bakal mengalami berbagai macam cobaan hidup. Sejak masuk jurusan ini 2 tahun lalu, udah gak terhitung berapa banyak gue nangis dan stres gara-gara tugas, ujian, lab, dan berbagai masalah pribadi yang bahkan gue sampe lupa detailnya. Tanpa teman-teman untuk saling berbagi, gue gak akan bisa survive di ITB ini. Karena itulah gue merasa pengen berterimakasih sama mereka melalui post ini.

So here they are, meet my dear ChemEng ladies ๐Ÿ™‚

[This post will be written in Bahasa and English]

Sebagai calon insinyur teknik kimia yang sedang belajar di salah satu perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia, bukan gak mungkin kalo gue bakal mengalami berbagai macam cobaan hidup. Sejak masuk jurusan ini 2 tahun lalu, udah gak terhitung berapa banyak gue nangis dan stres gara-gara tugas, ujian, lab, dan berbagai masalah pribadi yang bahkan gue sampe lupa detailnya. Tanpa teman-teman untuk saling berbagi, gue gak akan bisa survive di ITB ini. Karena itulah gue merasa pengen berterimakasih sama mereka melalui post ini. Siapa tau bisa jadi kenang-kenangan juga kalo kita udah pada lulus dan mengejar mimpi masing-masing.

So here they are, meet my dear ChemEng ladies ๐Ÿ™‚

*note: urutan penulisan tidak menunjukkan prioritas atau tingkat kedekatan, hehe

1. Elsa Yudhita Yusra

Elsa aka Elbong adalah lulusan SMA 8 Jakarta yang tadinya angkatan 2008 (aksel di SMP), tapi balik lagi jadi 2009 setelah exchange ke US setaun.ย  Elsa is a beautiful young woman, a high achiever, and generally salah satu yang paling kalem diantara cewek-cewek ini. She is… my ultimate professional partner hahahaha! Gue deket sama dia sejak sama-sama ikut (dan berbagi kasur serta makanan untuk berhemat) di Harvard National Model United Nations 2011, terus abis itu ngurusin segala hal tentang Ganesha Model United Nations Club. Dia ketua seleksi buat HNMUN 2012 dan gue ketua training, jadi kita bersimbiosis mutualisme. Gue sering banget nebeng mobil Elsa ataupun ke kosannya. Anaknya aktif dan berprestasi banget! AIESEC, Astra 1st, you name it lah. Makanya kalo ngomongin soal karir dan aktivitas mempercantik CV, Elbong paling oke diajak ngomong. Sekarang juga kita lagi sama-sama sibuk di lomba rancang pabrik se-Asia Tenggara, Regional Future Energy Challenge 2013. Doi jadi kadiv sponsorship dan gue kadiv humas. Sampe sekarang gue bingung kenapa cewek yang kepilih Vacation Trainee Schlumberger 2011 ini belom juga punya pacar. Masalah gue sama dia mirip sih…..mungkin cowok takut sama CV kite. Pede jaya haha!

2. Indy Cesara

Indy adalah cewek paling rempong yang pernah gue kenal. ๐Ÿ˜€ Lulusan SMA 1 Bogor ini sama-sama ngambil subjur Bioproses kayak gue. Gue kenal Indy sejak TPB sebagai temennya Puput, sobat gue di FTI-A. Indy is one of a kind. Awalnya mungkin lo ngerasa Indy suka ribut ato ceplas-ceplos, tapi justru itulah kekuatan dia. Indy adalah salah satu penghibur gue yang paling tokcer. Seneng aja rasanya goler-goleran di kosannya sambil nontonin dia berKorea. Indy sering banget maen ato nginep ke rumah gue, anaknya ramah dan banyak ngomong jadi gak sepi, dan nyokap gue udah hafal ama dia. Kadiv Infokom HIMATEK ini juga selalu jadi temen kelompok kalo ada tugas-tugas di kelas khusus subjur Bioproses. Paling pol sih waktu Lab DAS BP 2 minggu penuh kegilaan dan stres tingkat dewa yang bikin kita ilang nyawa. Oh iya, Indy juga paralel Labtek 2 gue, jadi kita ngelabtek bareng tapi beda kelompok gituu. ๐Ÿ™‚

3. Monica Raphita Simarmata

Undoubtedly, Monce is my ultimate galau partner, my lady with the same hopes and desires! ๐Ÿ™‚ Cewek Batak alumni SMA Santa Ursula Jakarta ini baiiik banget. Anaknya berhati lembut gitu, and by cosmic coincidence, she shares the same love history with me. Awalnya gue sama dia getol banget curhat pas kelas Teknologi Kemurgi (haha) and we found out kalo kisah cinta dan broken heart kita terlalu….mirip. Gue sama dia punya visi yang sama dalam pacaran, pernikahan, rencana masa depan untuk keluarga, dan hal-hal sentimental lainnya. Kita juga sama-sama punya daftar cowok yang datang dan pergi di kehidupan dengan meninggalkan berbagai kebahagiaan dan bekas luka. Dari yang beda agama, emang brengsek, ato sekedar pemberi harapan palsu. Wish kita gak macem-macem, we just want a man who loves us for who we are, forever and ever. Oh iya, Monce taun ini kepilih ikut HNMUN 2013 so she’s going to USA (again) soon. ๐Ÿ™‚ Together with Elbong dan gue, doi juga lagi sibuk di RFEC 2013 jadi Kadiv Acara. Kita memproklamirkan diri sebagai geng kadiv galau. Hm yaya ๐Ÿ˜›

4. Denissa Pramesty

Denissa ato yang biasa kita panggil DangDenis adalah alumni SMA 78 Jakarta yang berkampung di Bengkulu. Dang anaknya rame kayak Indy, tapi gak se-toa Indy hehehe ;). Gue udah kenal dia sejak di FTI-A. It’s really fun to be around her, soalnya ga pernah keabisan bahan omongan. Dang juga salah satu ‘guru’nya anak-anak, terutama waktu Proses Pemisahan 1 aka Operasi Pemisahan Difusional (OPD 1) dimana kita berkali-kali rame-rame dateng ke kosannya buat belajar sampe jam 2 pagi cuma buat ngertiin diagram-diagram aneh. Sekretaris 1 HIMATEK ini juga suka menyuarakan kegalauan yang adalah, seringkali, kegalauan gue juga, di twitter. Kita sama-sama demen John Mayer. Dang pernah punya suatu kisah cinta yang rumit sama orang yang hm gitu deh hehehe. Pokoknya Dang anaknya asik deh dan pinter! Dulu waktu kerja kelompok OPD, gue sama dia bengong doang ngeliatin Jimmy ama David Bieber ngitung-ngitung, terus kita akhirnya muter video YouTube “Hello Kitty Tolong Aku”. Oke.

5. Priska Andini

Anak madrasah alumni SMA 1 Bekasi ini sobat gue sejak di FTI-A. Waktu TPB kita rajin banget bikin PR Kalkulus ato Fisika Dasar di Intel sama Ais (MRI 09), Puput (FT 09), dan (kadang-kadang) Indy. Sekarang kita kangen kerajinan dan semangat pantang menyerah jaman TPB yang entah kenapa menguap seperti terdistilasi di tekim. Priska adalah yang paling muda diantara kita (1993 bok!) tapi menurut gue dia sangat dewasa dan bertanggung jawab, mungkin efek jadi anak sulung dengan 4 adek. Priska anaknya gak neko-neko, baik, sering nolong, lovable deh pokoknya! Gue kalo pulang malem kadang suka crash in ke kosan Priska sebelum dijemput. Priska juga pinter, padahal tukang tidur di kelas dan dimana-mana hehehehe ๐Ÿ˜€ Kalo tidur lucu banget ekspresinya ga bohong! Manajer Acara dan Program di BP HIMATEK ini juga demen banget makan, makan macem-macem terutama Indomie. Tapi anehnya dia gak pernah gendut, jadi gue iri haha ๐Ÿ˜€

6. Rea Candra Oktaviara

Cewek manis super pinter yang mulai berkerudung sejak masuk tekim (tobat kayaknya hahahaha kidding :D) ini adalah alumni SMA 81 Jakarta. Gue udah kenal sejak di FTI-A juga. Rea menurut gue adalah anak paling kalem diantara kita semua. Kalo lagi bingung mau belajar kemana, gue suka dateng ke kosan Rea di Cisitu, misalnya waktu mau UTS 2 Sistem Utilitas. Tapi entah kenapa gue selalu ketiduran di kosan Rea hehe soalnya pewe :D. Rea adalah salah satu minoritas dalam hal kegalauan, soalnya doi udah punya cowok. Kata partner labtek 1 gue Jiang, “Rea lagi khilaf”, tapi ternyata kekhilafannya sekarang udah jalan 10 bulan sama Diego Einstein Murdani, hehehe :D. Kadiv Keprofesian HIMATEK ini berencana mau S2 program Erasmus Mundus, dan gue mengamini sepenuh hati. Personally buat gue, Rea adalah salah satu orang yang sangat concern sama pencapaian gue. Misalnya waktu gue kepilih jadi Mahasiswa Berprestasi, doi ngesms panjang dan personal dan itu bikin gue terharu :’) Rea juga cenderung introvert (baca: ga ngetweet aneh-aneh haha) tapi sekalinya ngetweet bisa error juga sih, terutama kalo menyangkut Diego. ๐Ÿ˜‰

7. Dwi Sasetyaningtyas

Tyas is our sweet bumblebee. Anaknya social banget, asik, rame, super ceria, dan hampir gak pernah melankolis kayak gue atau Monce. Arek Suroboyo alumni SMA 5 Surabaya ini punya pergaulan yang luas banget. Aktif di ISO (pernah jadi ketua konser ISO bahkan), exchange ke Poland, suka banget sama kesenian dan kebudayaan. Jago main biola dan di tengah-tengah ke-hectic-an tingkat 3 masih sempet les tari Bali. Gue kadang suka bingung gimana dia bagi waktu, soalnya anaknya kadang random banget bisa tiba-tiba udah jalan-jalan ke Garut dan malemnya ikut pelantikan PPAB. Because of her bubbly personality, Tyas gak pernah sepi dari dideketin cowok. In terms of life, gue merasa punya kehidupan yang berkebalikan dari Tyas. Menurut gue Tyas is outgoing dan impulsif, sedangkan gue anaknya penuh perhitungan dan perencanaan banget hehehe. Tapi it makes her life happy. Tyas juga all out kalo udah menyangkut hal yang jadi passion dia. I really adore her free spirit. Oh iya hari ini, 9 September 2012, Tyas lagi ulang tahun ke-20. Happy birthday dan semoga langgeng sama pacar baru ya Tyyy! ๐Ÿ˜€

8. Nabilla Tamimi Yacob

Bibil adalah “Ibu Pejabat” kita yang paling pejabat style hahah. Alumni SMA Insan Cendekia ini anaknya unik dan sosialita banget menurut gue. Cara ngomongnya, cara jalannya, cara megang tas dan BBnya adalah ciri khas Bibil yang gak pernah gue temuin di orang lain. ๐Ÿ˜€ Gue suka banget sense of fashionnya Bibil yang menurut gue up to date tapi gak berlebihan. Selain Elbong, anak-anak juga suka nebeng mobil Bibil kalo abis belajar bareng. Kadang pas udah lewat tengah malem, lagi rame-rame di mobil, gue suka mikir betapa strongnya temen2 gue ini. Cewek kelayapan tengah malem buat belajar, dimana lagi gue bakal nemu kalo gak di ITB? ๐Ÿ˜› Bibil suka banget ke cafe buat nyobain makanan baru atau sekadar ngebandingin mana cupcakes yang lebih enak. Anak APRES! ini juga punya pergaulan luas kayak Tyas dan jarang galau. Sama kayak Elbong, gue juga bingung kenapa Bibil belom punya cowok, padahal doi menurut gue salah satu yang paling cantik di Tekim. ๐Ÿ˜‰

9. Ria Ayu Pramudita

Mbadit mungkin bukan termasuk kelompok 8 cewek di atas, tapi gue gak bisa gak masukin dia di list ini soalnya gue juga deket sama dia hahaha :D. Alumni SMA 3 Malang yang merupakan partner penelitian gue ini punya a complex personality menurut gue. She has an angel heart that can sometimes be too good. Terkadang she’s willing to sacrifice her own happiness or purpose for the sake of other people’s. Mbadit aslinya anak 2008 tapi pernah exchange ke Jepang 1 tahun waktu SMA. Mbadit sangaaatt passionate sama Community Development aka Pengabdian Masyarakat. Kadiv PM HIMATEK ini lagi getol-getolnya ngembangin Kecimpring (proyek PM HIMATEK) di Ciparay. Mbadit punya visi yang sangat berkebalikan sama gue. Gue mindsetnya korporat, pengen ngejer karir setinggi mungkin bahkan kalo bisa sampe jadi CEO, dan butuh kepastian finansial yang jelas. Mbadit on the other hand pengen banget ngejer pendidikan setinggi mungkin dan jadi dosen atau peneliti (seperti teladannya, Bu Penia :)). Kesamaan kita adalah pengen jadi istri dan ibu yang baik, makanya kita pengen ketemu sama cowok yang mau diajak serius :). Generally it’s not too hard to mingle with her, but to understand her is a different story. All in all, she’s a really good and sholehah friend to me, hehehe ๐Ÿ˜€

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So that’s it, all the ladies that have accompanied me in the ups and downs of my life in Chemical Engineering. Kami (insya Allah) tinggal punya 1 tahun lagi untuk hidup bersama-sama di bawah atap labtek biru Institut Teknologi Bandung. Pas Kerja Praktek, gue ngerasaaaaa banget betapa gue akan sangat kangen sama cewek-cewek ini saat gue meninggalkan kehidupan kampus dan mulai mengalami dunia nyata. Gue harap setelah lulus kita bakal tetep menjaga silaturahmi, entah itu dengan cara arisan rutin (kayak yang dipropose Monce di suatu sesi curhat Kemurgi sama gue, hehe) atau hal-hal lainnya. Siapa tau ntar kita pada jadi ibu-ibu kaya yang bikin TK09 Foundation buat ngebantu anak-anak kekurangan, siapa tau? Soon gue akan ngalamin diundang ke pernikahan kalian (amin), ngeliat kalian soar high di jalan hidup masing-masing, dan ngalamin quarter life crisis ataupun mid life crisis bersama-sama.

Dan pada saat-saat itu, gue akan tersenyum mengenang segala kenangan yang udah kita buat bareng di jurusan yang tampak seperti neraka tapi sebenernya udah ngajarin kita banyak banget hal ini.

I love you, my ChemEng ladies. ๐Ÿ™‚

Lesson I Learned This Summer โ€“ Part 3: Marriage

Marriage is not a relationship that you can easily break. There are a lot of variables involved: families, law, kids… Whoever is chosen to be my husband is going to be a part of my big family, the person that is going to be my identity or whose last name I will bear, the father of my children, and the partner I’ll spend my lifetime with. Years before now, I didn’t think about these when I met someone, fell in love, and enjoyed the whole process of being in a relationship. I’ll stay as long as we, the two of us, are happy. Those good old days.

Today’s September 1, 2012. Summer has ended, and so has holiday. I’m now going back to campus life which I dearly miss ever since I realized that I’d leave this campus one year again.

During summer, the thought about serious relationship haunted me as much as career and homesick did.

Tonight seems to be the perfect time for me to write about this. I’ve just got back from a wedding. My twin brother knows well both the bride and the groom (groom: batch 2005, bride: batch 2006), and he asked me to go with him. Uh, to introduce me to some prospective young doctors as well…

As I glanced in fear to the dress my mom was preparing for me (luckily I didn’t wear that) and let the make up polished my face (I hate make up), my thought wandered everywhere, everywhen.

I saw my mother getting old, those wrinkles on her face, saw my pinkish lips and reddish cheek and dad said something about “my little girl is growing up”, saw my twin in tux, and saw the me I was wondering when I attended a daughter of papa’s friends’ wedding…years ago, in a Balloon blue dress with lots of ribbons. I didn’t have to wear make up; I saw my mom and those useless hours she spent in front of the mirror and swore I wouldn’t do that, ever.

You know you’re getting old when the weddings you attend change from your parents’ friends’/relatives’, to your own friends.

Once I arrived at the wedding venue, that sentence arouse in my head. I was greeted instantly by someone I knew from a competition, several steps away and there stood my twin’s friends, his fellow young doctors. I smiled to everyone and I realized that this time, it was only me and my twin. No more dad, no more mom greeting their old colleagues and me eating ice cream holding mom’s hands.

The bride and groom looked magnificent, blissful, and happy. Meanwhile I queued on the red carpet, my face was blank and aghast… I’m going to be a bride in the next 4 or 6 years, according to normal Indonesian norms.

What the fuck is happening to time?

Don’t get me wrong, I want to marry. It’s unbearable to picture myself living alone for my whole life. No kids, no husband, just me…it’s scary. But what creeps into my mind is the thought that my marriage needs to be planned from now on. As early as now.

Marriage is not a relationship that you can easily break. There are a lot of variables involved: families, law, kids… Whoever is chosen to be my husband is going to be a part of my big family, the person that is going to be my identity or whose last name I will bear, the father of my children, and the partner I’ll spend my lifetime with.

Now the question is how can I be sure that he is the right man for me? How can love stay forever? How can marriage last forever, ’till death do us apart’? How can I live with someoneย thatย long without taking a break that’ll be likely categorized as affair and end up in divorce? Why are we considered complete only when we’ve found our so-called ‘soulmate’? What about people who live alone?

I perfectly know that I’ve never been good in love. I’ve had serious problems when it comes to relationship. My heart has been bruised, bashed, and broken so many times. So painful until the shattered pieces, when it was healed, decided that it’d set up a strong security fence and its own defense mechanism. I fell, I fell, I fell. Into the same trap and into the typical nasty jerks. How can I find someone who loves me truly, who loves me for who I am, and accepts me without condition?

The thing about love when it comes to marriage is that it’s not the same type of love that I’ve known in my whole teenage years, because…

Marriage is institutionalizing love.

Now, in my 20th years of life, I can’t think shallow when it comes to choosing someone. Mom perfectly sounded this to me. “Kuliahnya dimana? Jurusan apa? Islam? Sehat? Pinter? Orang mana? Adeknya banyak nggak? Kira-kira masa depannya gimana terjamin nggak?’. And I was like, “Why, I don’t bother. It’s difficult enough to find someone, now when he’s supposedly there he also has to fulfill this checklist? Are you seriously wanting me to be perawan tua or something?”

I know every parents want the best spouse for their children. They impose this set of criteria because they don’t want their children to suffer and live a miserable life. But hey, who the hell knows what’s going on in the future?

Years before now, I didn’t think about these when I met someone, fell in love, and enjoyed the whole process of being in a relationship. I’ll stay as long as we, the two of us, are happy. Those good old days.

Not only mom and dad but also grandma, yes, my 71 years old grandma, is taking part on my ‘serious relationship’ now. They are worried more than me. It’s time for you to date someone, they say. It’s time for you to have a serious relationship, they say. It’s time for you to soar high while having a gandengan, they say. Grandma even said that I should consider to stop achieving things, “because it makes men drift away from you, they are afraid”. And I was like, “I won’t. No matter what you say, I won’t slow down my pace. No one should interfere with my pursuit of happiness”. Days later, until now, these people say that they seriously pray for me in shalat tahajud, shalat Duha, and shalat wajib. I rolled my eyes.

I’ve had enough burden on my shoulder already

but the thought of having serious relationship, and the thought of marriage, they linger still like toxic. Being unable to get closer to these things makes me weak. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel unworthy.

Anyone please save me. I’m still a child trapped in the realm of adulthood.